Ethixx - A Very Poor Man's Conflict With Modern Morals
Ethics. In a land far, far away there's a dude or gal who never have to deal with such a conflictual (actual word? Hell if I know) concept. In this land, life's choices are black and white with none of that ugly grey shit in the middle to make one interrogate their conscience.
Enter man, 26, just shaved his beard, drank a beer without using his hands, and now spinning hardcore with his fidget spinner while using his hands. He is such a man with dreams of traveling over the Atlantic Ocean whilst not having to beg for scraps on the streets. Boom. I'm that man, and my dilemma is that one front and center.
I'm well into crunch time to save up some money for my European excursion, and I'm not doing too shabby if I say so myself. The battle of ethics comes into play when I'm faced with decisions on how to evaluate what I will do to make enough money to not eat baguette scraps off of a cigarette ash-clad Paris street.
Recently, I dove into the world of applying at a job at coffee shop that I love. I would have been able to achieve all of my childhood dreams of becoming a hipster barista at a coffee shop that mixes science with it's brewing. Badasserry in a cup I dare say. I was basically about to be offered the job. With my move to France on the forefront of my brain, I came out in a slip of of my unconscious and admitted my dreams to the employers. Their promising smiles quickly deflated into what's civilly standard for a coffee shop interview. Ethics - 1, Kyle's bank account - 0.
Next up. A giant media conglomerate by the name of schlomshmast was offering me a chance at permalance job of $35/hr for full-time work for the next 90 days which would lead into a $70K/year gig. With the representative on the other end of the phone asking if I was interested, as If she already knew that I couldn't pass up an offer like this, I said no with a cringe.
I hung up. Extremely devastated. Devastated only in the fact that I would have been able to afford my whole trip in a matter of weeks, and I wouldn't have to rely on my trusty credit card to shame me into purchases. Ethics - 2, Kyle's bank account - what in the actual hell man? Lie, lie, lie.
Thus, begins my current battle as I try to procure enough money to ease my financial troubles while also trying to stand firm with my morals. I easily could have accepted said gig at moshelmast and dipped out a few days before I flew out. I may have burned a bridge, but who cares. I'm 26, in need of moolah, and America in my rear-view mirror. I also battled with the possibility of accepting the job, and putting off my trip for a while. A year tops, but of course sometime in the forseeable future.
As much as I wanted to lie to others who probs don't care about what I do unless it affects their bottom line, I just couldn't bring myself to it. I was raised to stay true to what is right, no matter the consequences, and face what life rears itself to be.
Not even the aspect of staying true to how I was raised, I fully believe that I'd be lying to myself if I did it the sly way. With all of the emotion, sanity, logic, money, anxiety, and purpose going into this trip, lying to myself is the gateway drug into leveraging others' opportunities solely for my own benefit. Fuck that. I'm on this planet to make an impact, and engage in the conversation to make the world a better place.
So there you have it. I'm sure I'll have other battles as I proceed, but this one was a humble lesson that I had to learn and teach myself. For any other travellers out there, stay true to the purpose, aka the WHY of your journey. If at any moment you find yourself questioning if something is right or wrong, ask yourself WHY you're doing this again. If the right thing or easy thing genuinely aligns with that purpose, then proceed.
In the meantime, give it your all, every single ounce of your being, don't be an asshole to anyone (even the assholes), stay true to your beliefs, and don't think for a second that you're not capable of something great. Be great. Kick ass. Reflect. Share with friends, family, and the Internet. Boom. Kyle out.